Friday, July 8, 2011

First comes baby, then love: the impact of a baby on a new relationship

"First comes love, then comes K-I-S-S-I-N-G...then comes pushing a baby carriage"-- (not always)

New relationships are hard enough. You are still trying to get to know each other, and if you really like each other. However, sometimes a relationship must be put into hyper speed when a baby comes first. Many different scenarios can cause a baby or a pregnancy to happen at the start of a relationship. This can either tear a new relationship apart or give some foundation for true commitment.


Pregnancy is hard on any relationship. There are unexplainable hormones, cravings and just plain not feeling well. Not to mention an added person in the bed, the baby in the womb or the body pillow. If you find yourself starting a new relationship while pregnant there are some things you should remember. Be honest. You should always tell your partner up front that you are pregnant. Keeping it a secret will only confuse your partner, and basis a relationship on a lie. Make your decisions on want you want. If you can pregnant prior to this new relationship, this is your pregnancy. Do not let your decisions about your pregnancy be swayed by someone new.


Babies can cause lack of sleep, money issues, and nervousness. This already sounds like the beginning of a new relationship. If you find yourself dating someone new after have a baby, you are in for a completely new world of issues. Be honest. This holds true for any type of relationship, during any stage of raising kids. You do not want to waste your time with someone that may not be ready for the commitment. Try to explain the best you can why you may be emotional detached. When my husband and I started dating, my son was six weeks old, and we could not be away from him for more then two hours without me feeling guilty. It is hard to foster a love, while trying to learn a new role as a parent. It can be done.


Having children then starting a new relationship can be tricky. Unless you new partner already knows about your children bringing them up may seem like a deal breaker. Once more, you need to be honest. If you children are old enough, you may be able to wait for the second to third date before dropping the news you have children. Children can be very intuitive, so when they are finally introduced to your new person, watch their reactions. However, just because they may not like each other right away, it is not always a bad sign. Some children may feel like this new person is taking over the attention they once had from their parent. Remember to include date nights for just you and your child in your schedule. As for the new relationship, try to go slow, they already have so much to deal with.

A relationship after a child can work, it just takes work. My husband has adopted my son from a pervious marriage, and we could not be happier. Eight years later, we often laugh about how we got started. Laughter is great way to handle the ups and downs.

Read these:

Four Movies About Families in Reverse

Should My Spouse Adopt My Biological Child

Mistakes to Avoid While Dating a Single Parent

Single Parents: Getting Back into Dating

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