Real Couple Wednesday (Ryan and Mindy)

 This Wednesday, I had the rare occasion when a husband decided to answer my questions. He is a friend of mine for some time now. His relationship is very long lived and full filled. I am very grateful that Ryan decided to be the first man to answer the questions. I am hoping that more husbands will step up and be willing to share their insights in their relationships. Ryan and Mindy have been together for a very long time, and have a little baby boy. Thank you Ryan for being part of Real Couple Wednesday.

Tell me about yourself (age, martial status)

I am 28 and have been married for about a year and a half.

How did he propose?

The way I proposed was wrapping a ring around a stuffed horse. (She hates horses and I thought this would change her mind about them)

 Tell me about your wedding?

Our wedding was perfect except for the pasture showing up 5 mins before the ceremony and left immediately after.

What do you fight about the most?

On the rare occasions we do fight it is usually about stupid stuff like money or one of us forgetting to do a chore.

Do you have a lot in common?

As far having things in common, we don't have a whole lot but that just means we each try new things.

How often do you have sex? do you have the same sex drive?

Our sex life has gone down some since having the baby but we do still have an active sex life I would say about once or twice a week.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?

The hardest part of the marriage would be raising our son; it had been just us for so long that when we added a new life we had to change just about everything we did. The easiest would be reaching a decision about things. We always sit down, talk about all the options, and decide what is best for us all as a family.

How many serious relationships were you in before?

I would say as far as "serious" relationships go, this is probably my first.

Finding the right cupcake for your wedding

Wedding cakes are out, and cupcakes are in. Embrace this new trend at your own wedding by finding the right cupcake display for your wedding. Cupcakes are fun and an easy way to give your guests the cakes they want. Using cupcakes can mean many more ideas and lots more fun then the traditional wedding cake.

A garden wedding

An intimate garden wedding could be beautiful. The cupcakes make an appearance that will make your guests smile. This is fun and unique.  Check out Garden Wedding Songs for some more ideas for this wedding theme.

Love Is Sweet

The Love Is Sweet wedding theme means having a lot of fun with candy and sweets. Cupcakes go great with this fun idea. Here are some beautiful cupcakes that embrace the theme. Check out this article for more about the Love Is Sweet wedding theme.

Twilight

If you have decided to make your wedding more Twilight style, try these cupcake ideas. Chocolate frosting and bright red would go great for the wedding. You can make the cupcakes with or without the books titles. Check out Twilight Inspired Wedding Dresses for some ideas for the bride.





Cupcakes can make your wedding unique and wonderful. Displaying them in an unique way is all up to you. Cupcakes are a sweet new trend for weddings.

Real Couple Wednesday (Christine and Michael Rice)

 The time has come again for Real Couple Wednesday. I interviewed Christine Rice. She is a fellow writer and was willing to share with us. She provided a glimpse into her life for everyone to see that you are not alone in the same struggles. I am very grateful that Christine decided to share with us.

Tell me about yourself (age, marital status).
I'm a 30-year-old married female.

How long have you been married?
6 years.

How did he propose?
He got down on one knee in our apartment and sweetly asked me if I would marry him.

Tell me about your wedding.
It was a small wedding of only about 10 people (just immediate family). The wedding and reception was held at my parents' house--the house I grew up in. The ceremony was performed in the front yard and it was the most beautiful early-July afternoon. It was truly the best day of my life.

What do you fight about the most?
Differences in perception. We're both stubborn and we each think we are always right.

Do you have a lot in common?
Yes. We went through similar situations before we met. However, we also have clear differences, and that makes life interesting.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? The easiest?
Dealing with finances and disagreements is hard. However, our love for each other always resolves our arguments. The easiest has been our mutual feelings of emotional attachment and compatibility, which has made our marriage long lasting.

How many serious relationships were you in before?
Three. But this is the longest and most loving relationship I've had.

This week’s poll: why is the modern marriage not working

A long time ago, it was not unusual to find a couple that married young and stayed together. However, the odds of your marriage ending in a divorce are around 40%. Although this is down from the usual quoted ‘50%’, it does not mean a lot. There are many issues that married folks have to face. So why are so many marriages ending in divorce these days? This was the subject of our weekly poll this week. Why is the modern marriage failing? We got six people to cast their votes.

Cheating

60% percent of our voters believe the modern marriage is doomed to failure because of cheating. Cheating is always a major factor in choosing to stay together or not. Some women believe in giving their husband another chance even after the first affair. A woman cheating does not hit the headlines as often but that does not mean it does not happen. If you think your spouse is cheating, there may be many different reasons. Check out this article to learn more:

Cheating Spouses

Boredom

The next reason, according to the poll, is boredom. After spending years together, many couples may just get bored with each other. Maybe it has been awhile since you went out together, or since you laughed together. If this is the case, you spouse may find excitement else where, which can then lead to divorce. Boredom can really crush a relationship. Check this article out for some help:

Tips on Keeping Excitement in your relationship

Expectations too high

Often times we may think that our spouse is just not measuring up. Many women have their ‘ideal’ husband picked out long before she meets Mr. Right. If there is a good man in front of them, they may decide not to be with them because they are not exactly everything they imagined. If your expectations remain too high, you can doom relationship before it starts.  Learning to adapt these expectations are crucial. Check out this for help:

Relationship Expectations: Being Realistic About Happily Ever After

These were the results of our weekly poll. How did you vote? If your previous relationship did not work, Why?

Real Couple Wednesday (Kristin and Steven)

The time has come again for Real Couple Wednesday. This week I interviewed Kristin. She was willing to share many things about her life. She gives a very open and honest picture about what it is like to be married in today’s time. Kristin is a follow writer, and if you want to read more from her check out her blog here:

I’m Just Saying…


Tell me about yourself (age, martial status) I am 44 and Steven is 37. We are married.

How long have you been married? 13 years

How did he propose? He got down on one knee, pulled a ring box out of his cowboy hat (he was a professional bull rider at the time) and handed it to me, asking me to marry him. When I opened it, it was a yellow Lifesaver (like in the commercial). Then he pulled the ring out of his pocket and put it on my finger.

Tell me about your wedding? Our wedding was just my parents, his parents, the preacher, and us. We wore kind of western wear and went to eat afterwards at Garfield's, then dancing at a local club that was having a western night. Five years later when my first marriage was annulled, we got married on our anniversary in the Catholic Church.

What do you fight about the most? Sex, money, and our kids (and not necessarily in that order)

Do you have a lot in common? Not really. Well, we do more now, I guess. We go to church together, we love doing things with our kids. But, we have a lot that isn't alike either, which at times causes a lot of tension in our marriage.

How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive? We have sex 1-3 times a week. We absolutely do NOT have the same sex drive. We used to do it all the time (daily), but since my hysterectomy, I have no sex drive. While I know there are lubricants and all, seriously, not the same as being interested. Plus, he gripes so often about how little I want to (including accusatory comments that he denies are accusatory, and "jokingly" saying he's going to find someone else) that it makes me want to even less. However, when we do, it is generally fantastic.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? The easiest? The hardest part has been losing one of our twin daughters at 3 months. While it pulled us closer in some ways, it has closed him down in others, it has also been something we struggle to communicate about, and even now which is almost 13 years later. The easiest part is when we forget all the B.S. that happens in our lives and we just relax and have fun. Anytime we do something with our kids, that's always easy. In our Venture River photo album on here, you can see us laughing on a ride. Those are the best times...when we forget the stress.

How many serious relationships were you in before? 2. My high school sweetheart, which was off and on from 6th grade through about 19 or so. He cheated a lot and got someone else pregnant. I was also married for 8 years.

Just an addendum, I know it seems I railed on Hubs a lot. I love him and cannot imagine my life without him. And thankfully, he is willing to do things he's not interested in to expose our girls to many things that I'm interested in. But he knows I will also do the same. So he goes to the Fox Theater to see Broadway shows and I watch wrestling. LOL.

Long marriages: They are possible

Long marriages: They are possible

All too often, we hear articles about divorce. Divorce is a subject of many blogs, articles, and news reports. However, not everything has to be about divorce. There are couples that have lived through it all, that have made it their mission to be committed. Here are some inspirational couples to look toward when it gets tough to stay married even one more day.

Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher

 

This couple from North Carolina have celebrated 85 years of marriage. In this article, they say that the formula for a long marriage is faith, family and just a few big fights. If these two love birds can make it this long what is another year with your spouse. 

Bob and Nona Ballard

 

This couple from Oregon have been married for 74 years. This very happy couple shared some of their secrets in this news report. They seemed to have a very good time joking with each other. The good times and the bad. They say the secret to a long marriage is compromise.

Geoff and Pat Bunyan

 

As of today, the Bunyan's have been married for 62 years. When they celebrated their 60th anniversary they were interviewed my a paper. Their relationship started as friends, and pen pals. As their letters grew more intimate they fell in love on paper. It is a wonderful love story that should be the subject of a best seller.

 

 Daniel and Holly McDorman

Seeing these other couples just gives me more hope for my own marriage. We have been marred for almost seven years now. I am hoping we can someday celebrate a long and happy life together on someone's blog post about long marriages. 

Check these out:

 

Couple talk: tips for a long marriage

Top ten reasons my husband and I will last forever

This week’s poll: what do you fight about?

This week’s poll: what do you fight about?

During this week’s poll, I asked my readers what they fight about the most with their partners. I was surprised how much the answers varied. We got seven votes. There were two votes for money, sex, and chores. One person answered other. I can only imagine what that means, or maybe we do not want to know. I was very pleased to see that no one fought about kids.  I find that a bit unusual because I do fight with my husband about the kids. However, that is not what we fight the most.

Money

Fighting about money is very common. I know that on payday, my husband and I will get into a fight. We have very different spending habits. Even though we can agree on what is the difference between needs and wants, there is still a lot to argue about. If you find yourself fighting a lot about money, read this:

How to stop fighting about money

Sex

Sex is can be a big issue in a relationship. Whether it is too much, too little or no desire, fighting about sex can influence your relationship greatly. During and after sex your body releases feel good hormones that forces your bodies to connect and makes you feel closer. If your libidos don’t match, which can happen for various reasons, you may find you are fighting about sex often. One of the reasons you sex life could be lacking is a disease.

Fibromyalgia and Sex

Chores

Fighting about chores may be more common then everything else. I find it difficult for my husband to do chores without reminding him constantly. I think this is because he suffers from ADHD, which makes it difficult to do housework without getting distracted.  If this sounds familiar for anyone there are some tips for trying to get things done while suffering from ADD.

Tips for doing housework while suffering from ADD

What do you and your partner fight about? Maybe you can find another way to communicate.

Real Couple Wednesday (Kim and Montez)

 

The time has come to interview another couple for Real Couple Wednesday! Today we are learning about Kim and Montez Dones. This couple holds a special place in my hear, and I am really grateful that Kim was so open and honest about her relationship and the trials they have to go through. 

Tell me about yourself (age, martial status)

I am 30, almost 31... I have been married for a little over two years and we have been together for a total of nine years almost ten...but if u ask my husband, he says that the first two years we were together we weren't "really" together. In a sense, he's right. We met when I was in college and the first couple of years we weren't serious...I guess but I’m a woman and I count those years!!!

How did he propose?

I sent out save the dates late spring of 2008, I had chosen the date for our wedding even though he hadn’t proposed. I wasn't waiting, I took charge! I had booked the reception hall, the church, had a photographer and the cake decorator. The dresses and tuxedos were chosen. Everything was almost done! It was a little over a month after that on my 28th birthday that he proposed to me...at my job. I was anxiously waiting for the flowers to be delivered but instead he came in, dropped to one knee asked me to marry him in front of my boss who was recording the proposal! It was very sweet. A huge surprise, he did it on his own time, after I stopped nagging him about it! September 1 2008, I found out I was pregnant. The next three weeks I decided that I didn't want to be in a wedding dress 8 months pregnant...I was guessing that's how far along I would have been, so I started canceling everything...the reception hall, the church, photographer, etc. I had stopped planning the wedding, after all, I was going to have a baby and nothing in the world could have been more important to me at that time. On September 21, we had our first sonogram to find out how far along I was and when I was due. We were so happy! Shocked that we were pregnant, but we had passed that, all the emotions of having a baby ended with happiness about going to the doctor. Disappointment and tears set in when we were told that we lost the baby and surgery would be scheduled for the following Monday, it was Friday. All weekend long, I felt I had nothing, after all my happiness was taken away in a matter of seconds. Monday came and gone and soon our wounded hearts were healed and I was back thinking about the wedding.

Tell me about your wedding?

We decided that we were not starting all over with the booking and the planning so we decided that we were going to Vegas. The wedding was very short and very intimate. A few friends and family members, but it was nice.


What do you fight about the most?

My husband and I don't fight, we argue, the majority of are arguments are about his stepson. We have different views on how to raise him, how to treat him and punish him. However, now that he is 18 and leaving for college those arguments ate somewhat non-existent. Communication is our biggest issue. It's not that we don't communicate; it's that we don't fully listen to each other. We hear some things and we "assume" the rest. This causes friction between us. We both have acknowledged this and both are guilty. In trying to work on this, we will repeat what we heard the other say so we know and aren't assuming.

Do you have a lot in common?

I would say it is probably fifty fifty for things we have in common. Even though we may not have something in common, we are supportive of each other. He loves movies; he can watch them all day. I am not a huge movie person; I like a movie every now and then. But for him, I will sometimes, watch movies with him all day. I know it makes him happy that I watch movies with him. It's not always about "me" in a marriage. I compromise and he does too. He hates grocery shopping. But I love grocery shopping with him and he knows that, so he will go with me.

How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive?
Our sex life is, well, random...random is a good word. Some weeks we will have sex every day. Other weeks we will have sex maybe once. Everyone knows the lyrics to the song "life." between working, cooking, cleaning, mowing, friends, family, being tired, etc sometimes sex gets pushed to the back burner and it's the same with us. We both love sex, though his sex drive is much stronger than mine, we do have a great sex life.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?

The hardest part of our marriage is me being a stepparent. It is hard and it causes friction between us, we try not to allow it, but at times we both are stubborn in what we believe and neither one of us will back down. The easiest is living together. We are both neat freaks! I never have to tell him to make the bed, clean his bathroom, take out the trash; he just does it because he hates messes as much as I do! We don’t ever argue about our home and how it is managed...we work well as a team.

How many serious relationships were you in before?

I have been in one serious relationship before this one. Well may e two but the second one was long distance and I was more into him thane was me.

Dating Myths Men Need to Get Over

Dating Myths Men Need to Get Over

Many men believe lots of myths about dating that actually keep them from getting dates. If men could get over these certain myths then they can find dates, with much surprise.

Gaming

Most men believe that if you are a gamer then you are destined to be alone. In fact, our online dater Travis was very hesitant to put on his profile that he liked to play games. For years, gamers were portrayed as lonely virgins who did nothing but stare at their XBOX or computer screens. However, the reason why this myth needs to be busted is the fact that more and more girls are getting into the gaming screen. In fact, ’hiding’ behind a fictional character on RPG (role-playing games) may give you the confidence to talk to girls. Once they get to know you, it is smooth sailing.

Females are the emotional ones

I admit I believed this one too up until recently. I actually had to ask my husband if guys got their heart’s broken like women did. I did know if guys actually put that much emotion into their relationships let women do. It seemed whenever you saw a movie, look at Facebook, or read a magazine article it was advice on how to help women get over a breakup. I have discovered that men are emotional about their feelings also. Men really need to let others know that they care. It may surprise others if you open up a bit about how much you feel. It can be very upsetting to think your man just does not care because he does not open up.

Feminism means misery

Actually, this could mean the opposite. Women that are ‘feminism’ in nature could just mean that they enjoy doing things that are not typically female. This could mean bringing your date hunting, boxing, fishing or any other activity that you may enjoy too. Just because she is for equal rights does not mean that she is going to be belittling you all of the time for what those before you have done. In fact, equal means equal. Embrace the time where women are more likely to help inside and outside the home. You may find that you are more suited for a job that is inside the home.

Check out this article:



Advantages of having a stay-at-home dad

LGBT Pride Month and President Obama’s Proclamation

On May 31st, President Obama took the stand to declare that June would be known as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Pride month. He has done so for a few years now, and this was just the same. President Clinton was the first in 1999.  President Obama said in his Proclamation:

 “The story of America’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community is the story of our fathers and sons, our mothers and daughters, and our friends and neighbors who continue the task of making our country a more perfect Union. It is a story about the struggle to realize the great American promise that all people can live with dignity and fairness under the law.”

People that have not fit the ‘norm’ have been discriminated against for years.  The LGBT communities are just other members of the society that have to go through their trials and tribulations to be accepted in a nation that has already said, “All men are created equal.” I am thankful to number that the numbers are going up. According to this report, sixty-four percent of Americans believe that gay and lesbian relations between two consenting adults should be legal, and that is wonderful news.

It is time to stop the discrimination, and realize that love has no gender. It is time not to press your beliefs onto people, and let others decide what they think is right. The old Pagan saying is “In it harm none, do as thy will.” For those religious people out there that believe that this type of act is against God’s way, all I can say is the fact we are not forcing you to do something you are against. The LGBT community is just asking for acceptance, the type of acceptance we have given to many other groups before. The African American group had to fight for their right to share the same restaurants as everyone else, all because of the color of their skin. Women had to fight for the right to vote, all because of what was or was not between their legs. If these other groups have found a way out of the rumble of hatred, and discrimination then so can everyone else. You do not have to like it, but give everyone a chance to find love. This should be done with whomever they fall in love with.

I would also like to give a special shout-out to Illinois; they just recently passed a civil union law that when into effect on June 1st! This is wonderful news! One day marriage will be acceptable now matter who is in love.

Read more:

Are Gay Couples Happier then Straight Couples 

Gay Marriage and Why This Christian Supports It 

On Gay Marriage

This week’s poll: relationship status

This week’s poll: relationship status

 

During this week’s poll, I asked my visitors to answer the question ‘What is your relationship status?’ Out of all of the visitors to this blog, only twelve answered the question. This week’s poll ends with the winner being: married.

Fifty-eight percent or 7 out of 12 people answered that they were married. Most of my visitors have come from the United States. In the U.S.A, an estimated 2,200,000 people got married in the year 2010. If you are one of the voters that are married, Congrats! I hope it is a happy one.

One person is engaged, and one person is single. These two may stand alone but they may have similar needs. Each is seeking some enlightenment for their relationship now or a relationship to come.

That left four voters in a relationship. This could mean many different things. Some couples choose to live together for a while. Some couples are dating, and some may have even answered this poll just days before taking a bigger step. We will never know.

I am very happy that the majority of my visitors are married. That means things are going in the right direction. What was even more encouraging this week is the fact that there were no votes for divorced…Will you step up and leave a comment as to how you voted and tell us a little bit about your relationship? 
 

Real Couple Wednesday

Real Couple Wednesday (John and Nicole Roy)

Many times, we feel alone in our struggles for relationships. You are not alone. There are many couples out there just like you. Every Wednesday I will be interview a couple to highlight a different relationship. I send them the same questions. How much they open up is up to them. Some couples will take the plunge, reveal many secrets, and share their struggles. While others may just what to tell you what let them to the happiness they have found right now. Either way, we will get to know the couples every Wednesday.

For the first couple, we have John and Nikki. After each of them suffered a divorce, they found happiness in each other and developed a family that is truly a Yours, Mine and Ours.

These answers came from Nikki.

When did you know you were in love with John?

 The first day we hung out together. He fell into my arms, I hugged him, and I just felt something I never felt before. It was odd.

What did you do on your first date?

We went out to eat at Sullys and then we went to a movie. It was really nerve wrecking!

How did he propose?

In my dining room, he had changed his mind and he was going to propose to me at a family function but he could not wait anymore. He had picked my rings up at Kay and was just too excited.

Tell me about your wedding

We really did not have a wedding. Since we both have been married and had our big wedding, we went ahead and had our Moms and Dads & some of our siblings (and my grandparents and two close friends) come to the courthouse in Monmouth and we got married by a justice of peace. Afterward we went to my Mothers house for conversation and cake. A month later, we had a celebration of our marriage at J's Aunt Dianas house, which was nice, because all of the family was there because it was also the weekend of the annual family reunion.

Read more about what it is like to raise such a blended family at: Nicole Sky's Blog

Thank you Nikki for answering our questions and being the first couple on Real Couple Wednesday!!