The time has come to interview another couple for Real Couple Wednesday! Today we are learning about Kim and Montez Dones. This couple holds a special place in my hear, and I am really grateful that Kim was so open and honest about her relationship and the trials they have to go through.
I am 30, almost 31... I have been married for a little over two years and we have been together for a total of nine years almost ten...but if u ask my husband, he says that the first two years we were together we weren't "really" together. In a sense, he's right. We met when I was in college and the first couple of years we weren't serious...I guess but I’m a woman and I count those years!!!
How did he propose?
I sent out save the dates late spring of 2008, I had chosen the date for our wedding even though he hadn’t proposed. I wasn't waiting, I took charge! I had booked the reception hall, the church, had a photographer and the cake decorator. The dresses and tuxedos were chosen. Everything was almost done! It was a little over a month after that on my 28th birthday that he proposed to me...at my job. I was anxiously waiting for the flowers to be delivered but instead he came in, dropped to one knee asked me to marry him in front of my boss who was recording the proposal! It was very sweet. A huge surprise, he did it on his own time, after I stopped nagging him about it! September 1 2008, I found out I was pregnant. The next three weeks I decided that I didn't want to be in a wedding dress 8 months pregnant...I was guessing that's how far along I would have been, so I started canceling everything...the reception hall, the church, photographer, etc. I had stopped planning the wedding, after all, I was going to have a baby and nothing in the world could have been more important to me at that time. On September 21, we had our first sonogram to find out how far along I was and when I was due. We were so happy! Shocked that we were pregnant, but we had passed that, all the emotions of having a baby ended with happiness about going to the doctor. Disappointment and tears set in when we were told that we lost the baby and surgery would be scheduled for the following Monday, it was Friday. All weekend long, I felt I had nothing, after all my happiness was taken away in a matter of seconds. Monday came and gone and soon our wounded hearts were healed and I was back thinking about the wedding.
Tell me about your wedding?
We decided that we were not starting all over with the booking and the planning so we decided that we were going to Vegas. The wedding was very short and very intimate. A few friends and family members, but it was nice.
What do you fight about the most?
My husband and I don't fight, we argue, the majority of are arguments are about his stepson. We have different views on how to raise him, how to treat him and punish him. However, now that he is 18 and leaving for college those arguments ate somewhat non-existent. Communication is our biggest issue. It's not that we don't communicate; it's that we don't fully listen to each other. We hear some things and we "assume" the rest. This causes friction between us. We both have acknowledged this and both are guilty. In trying to work on this, we will repeat what we heard the other say so we know and aren't assuming.
Do you have a lot in common?
I would say it is probably fifty fifty for things we have in common. Even though we may not have something in common, we are supportive of each other. He loves movies; he can watch them all day. I am not a huge movie person; I like a movie every now and then. But for him, I will sometimes, watch movies with him all day. I know it makes him happy that I watch movies with him. It's not always about "me" in a marriage. I compromise and he does too. He hates grocery shopping. But I love grocery shopping with him and he knows that, so he will go with me.
How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive?
Our sex life is, well, random...random is a good word. Some weeks we will have sex every day. Other weeks we will have sex maybe once. Everyone knows the lyrics to the song "life." between working, cooking, cleaning, mowing, friends, family, being tired, etc sometimes sex gets pushed to the back burner and it's the same with us. We both love sex, though his sex drive is much stronger than mine, we do have a great sex life.
What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?
The hardest part of our marriage is me being a stepparent. It is hard and it causes friction between us, we try not to allow it, but at times we both are stubborn in what we believe and neither one of us will back down. The easiest is living together. We are both neat freaks! I never have to tell him to make the bed, clean his bathroom, take out the trash; he just does it because he hates messes as much as I do! We don’t ever argue about our home and how it is managed...we work well as a team.
How many serious relationships were you in before?
I have been in one serious relationship before this one. Well may e two but the second one was long distance and I was more into him thane was me.