Friday, August 12, 2011

In sickness…

My husband and I have been married for almost seven years. During those seven years, the words ‘in sickness’ have found new meaning for our marriage. I regret that I have been sick, really sick, for most of our marriage. Once I was in the ICU with no feeling in my left side. I had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. As if this was not enough, now my body just aches all of the time. He has been patient with me, and very supportive during what he can. Although, I know sometimes a person’s health can impact a marriage extremely. I am very grateful that my husband has stuck through the sickness part of marriage. It can not be easy.

Understanding illness

Being sick can mean a lot of things. This can be about anything from a cold to a life-altering injury. Whatever happens to your partner it is important to understand the illness or injury. When I was sick with conversion disorder, a mental health disorder that caused the loss of feelings in my left side, the illness itself it hard to understand so explaining it to my husband was difficult. He listened to the doctors and the other family members that were helping us. Other illnesses and injuries may not be as hard to understand. Understanding the illness or injury will give you a better idea on how to help.


The best way to help your spouse is to listen. If you illness is visible or not, it is real and causes a big impact in their life. Listening actively means not judging the other person for how they feel. Listening involves great body language, and eye contact. The best way to show your spouse you are listening to have gentle physical contact, if able. Touch a knee or hold a hand. Remember that there is no right or wrong feelings for illness.

Get ready for a new normal

In the ideal illness situation, things get better. However, this may not be the case. You need to be prepared for a new normal. Realizing that you will still love your spouse and they will still love you is the best way to be prepared. Make a game plan together in case a situation arises that may have to be dealt with. Having a plan for emergencies will make your new normal easier to handle.

I am really grateful for my husband and any other married couple that has to deal with illness. In the vows, “in sickness or health” few couples think about the sickness part

Read these:

Little known signs of Vitamin B12 deficiency

Coping with Undiagnosed Illness

Friday, August 5, 2011

Surviving Marriage: The Good Stuff

Marriage is hard with many ups and downs. Even before the official “I do,” there can be lots of fighting, or utopia love. Surviving marriage starts from the wedding planning to the many years together. Each year has its own challenge. Watch for a blog series the highlights the way to survive the many stages of marriage

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

When I knew Ashley was in love with JP

Ashley Herbert, the Bachelorette, may have shocked some by her decision to accept a proposal from JP Rosenbaum, but she didn’t shock me. For weeks now, I have known she was in love with JP.

JP and Ashley have the kind of relationship many want. The signs of them falling in love were all around for quite awhile. I feel as if the show could have packed their bags weeks ago.

The meeting

The first meeting between Ashley and JP was magical. He did nothing fancy to catch her eye. He smiled away and when they alone time, Ashley could not stop giggling.  The “Cupcake” nickname brings them closer.

Coin flip

JP lost a date because of a coin flip, but gained a kiss. A coin flip made sure they kissed. This showed Ashley that JP was willing to roll with the punches. She giggled at the idea.

Love sparks

On their fist date, Ashley was distraught from Bentley leaving. JP had to endure her in a non-glamorous setting. This type of date is the type that happens in real life. This started the falling in love process. JP has to see Ashley how she is in real life. They had a great time just being with each other. Love was overflowing as JP just wanted to make sure she was ok.

Bentley comes back

When Bentley comes back to give Ashley some closer, she tells JP first. This is because she is in love with him and wants to be honest. He is just happy that she got some closure. He is right there for her during the journey, this time and many others.

His concerns

During the later part of the process, JP shows concern. He does not like seeing Ashley go out with the other guys. However, Ashley is right there the entire way telling him the process is worth it. When she turns to comfort him each time, the fact that she does not let him go, tells us she is in love with him.

I hope Ashley and JP have a long happy life together. From the first meeting to the first date, there was a lot of love going around between them.