Friday, August 12, 2011

In sickness…

My husband and I have been married for almost seven years. During those seven years, the words ‘in sickness’ have found new meaning for our marriage. I regret that I have been sick, really sick, for most of our marriage. Once I was in the ICU with no feeling in my left side. I had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. As if this was not enough, now my body just aches all of the time. He has been patient with me, and very supportive during what he can. Although, I know sometimes a person’s health can impact a marriage extremely. I am very grateful that my husband has stuck through the sickness part of marriage. It can not be easy.

Understanding illness

Being sick can mean a lot of things. This can be about anything from a cold to a life-altering injury. Whatever happens to your partner it is important to understand the illness or injury. When I was sick with conversion disorder, a mental health disorder that caused the loss of feelings in my left side, the illness itself it hard to understand so explaining it to my husband was difficult. He listened to the doctors and the other family members that were helping us. Other illnesses and injuries may not be as hard to understand. Understanding the illness or injury will give you a better idea on how to help.


The best way to help your spouse is to listen. If you illness is visible or not, it is real and causes a big impact in their life. Listening actively means not judging the other person for how they feel. Listening involves great body language, and eye contact. The best way to show your spouse you are listening to have gentle physical contact, if able. Touch a knee or hold a hand. Remember that there is no right or wrong feelings for illness.

Get ready for a new normal

In the ideal illness situation, things get better. However, this may not be the case. You need to be prepared for a new normal. Realizing that you will still love your spouse and they will still love you is the best way to be prepared. Make a game plan together in case a situation arises that may have to be dealt with. Having a plan for emergencies will make your new normal easier to handle.

I am really grateful for my husband and any other married couple that has to deal with illness. In the vows, “in sickness or health” few couples think about the sickness part

Read these:

Little known signs of Vitamin B12 deficiency

Coping with Undiagnosed Illness

No comments:

Post a Comment