Remind each other; ignite a new passion

On my way home from work last night, I heard a new song from Brad Paisley (one of my favorite artists). The song was called “Remind Me.” The song itself was about what it was like to be young and show your love every second of every day. Do you remember what it was like when you did crazy things just because you were in love? Sometimes relationships get so dull because time chips away at the passion that was there in the beginning. Although this is normal, it can leave the other person unloved. Every once in awhile you may need to remind each other that you love and cherish each other. My husband and I have done this a few different times during the years…


Whip cream fight

One night we took silliness to a completely new level. We had a whip cream fight. One little cake with cream turned into a mess of cream on my coat that had to be dry cleaned. It was fun, and did not turn sexual, but was a reminder of our love and spontaneous teenage antics.

Play in the rain

As a child we loved to play in the rain, it was like forbidden fruit. This is something I do often with my children, but it had been awhile since DH had joined me. Then after years of enjoying my kids, he decided to hop in. The unexpected surprise reminded me of how much I loved him.

Sleeping with a T-shirt

Do you remember the days when you would sleep with your boyfriends T-shirt so that you could remember what his smell was like? Too often, we get use to their smell and forget that euphoric feeling we use to have. Next time your guy is out for the night, or away on a trip, spray some of his cologne on a T-shirt to sleep with. Embrace your inner teenage girl. My husband goes away once a month for a weekend and doing this trick has help me remember what a great guy he has been, still is, and will continue to be.





As Brad Paisley says, “don’t settle for good, not great.” 

Read These:

Seven Ways to Save Your Marriage from Divorce

Real Couple Wednesday (Holly and Daniel)

I struggled to find a couple for this week. It seems I have exhausted the volunteers. I decided, even though I have a page on myself (my love nest) and on my wedding, it is time for me to answer these questions.

When did you know you were in love with Daniel?

Adam was about eight weeks old, and in the hospital. We had been dating for a total of two weeks, and he had been hands-on (the best he knew how) with Adam. However, when Adam hit the hospital for RSV, neither of us had ever been in a situation. Dan would come to the hospital right after school, and send until he had to go home. When the unthinkable happened; Adam stopped breathing and had to be airlifted by helicopter, we struggled with the fact that he could not come with me to the hospital to stay. However, he was the one person that would call every night, at exactly 9pm. He would ask how Adam was and make sure I was taking care of myself. This is when I knew I truly loved him. He was the rock I needed at a time I felt by myself. He showed me how much he cared.

What did you do on your first date?

For our first date, I was invited to go to his H.S. prom. However, tickets were sold out by the time we started to date. We went to dinner, and then he left to go to prom. I tease him now that he ditched me on the first date.

How did he propose?

He had his parents conspire with a plan to catch me by surprise. I was told to take Dan to the local lake to help him find his uncle to invite him for supper. When we got there and out of the car, we started to walk to where I thought his uncle was fishing. When we got to a bridge over looking the water, there were three roses with a ring tied to them on the ground. He regrets tying it to them now, he was shaking so badly. I will never forget how he said it; “Will you give me the honor of being your husband, and of having you as my wife?” Of course, I said yes…and then my sister and some of our other friends (who helped organize the whole thing) popped out from behind the trees.

For my wedding check out the wedding page of this blog.

What do you fight about the most?

This question is hard to answer. We fight about many different things, but not very much of one thing. We do fight over the house chores, lack of communication, money, and raising the kids. We don’t fight a lot, but just a lot of about many different things. Most of the time when we fight about something, it is resolved and on most occasions we don’t have to bring it up again.

Do you have a lot in common?

Not really. Dan and I are very opposite. However, this is part of the reason we marred each other. We can compliant each others strengths and weaknesses. As far as hobbies go, we don’t share a lot. We have tried mixing things up, and including a bit for each of us or adapting a hobby to be more suited for the other, but this has not worked well yet.

How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive?

We do not have the same sex drive. If it were up to him, it would happen more often. For me, I could often care less. I feel as if it is just another thing on my to do list. However, the last few months have sparked a new connection with us emotional, and that has elevated each of our happiness with our sex life. It has now become 2-3 times a week. We both hope we can hold on to this trend.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?

The hardest part of our marriage is the unconventional roles we play in our family. He is a SAHD, and I work outside of the home. This cause friction between us, and the outside world (which then causes more problems for us). Because these are not the traditional norms, we have to give each other the appreciation and assurance that we are doing what works best for us. The easiest part of our marriage is our conversations and friendships. We can still, after eight years, have conversations for hours about all kinds of things. We can treat each other like friends, which makes our time together fun. We like to laugh, and can poke fun at each other in a teasing good time kind of way.

 How many serious relationships were you in before?

I have been in two serious relationships prior to Dan. I was in a four-year relationship with my first love that turned into four years of physical abuse. I thought I was going to marry him and have kids. I am thankful now that I did not, I would not have turned into the person I am today. The second was a quick fling marriage with a child. We were married for about nine months, and only together for a couple before we got married. Although it was quick, I did fall in love and get my heart broken.

There you have it…the microscope has been turned on me.

Long marriages: They are possible

Long marriages: They are possible

All too often, we hear articles about divorce. Divorce is a subject of many blogs, articles, and news reports. However, not everything has to be about divorce. There are couples that have lived through it all, that have made it their mission to be committed. Here are some inspirational couples to look toward when it gets tough to stay married even one more day.

Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher

 

This couple from North Carolina have celebrated 85 years of marriage. In this article, they say that the formula for a long marriage is faith, family and just a few big fights. If these two love birds can make it this long what is another year with your spouse. 

Bob and Nona Ballard

 

This couple from Oregon have been married for 74 years. This very happy couple shared some of their secrets in this news report. They seemed to have a very good time joking with each other. The good times and the bad. They say the secret to a long marriage is compromise.

Geoff and Pat Bunyan

 

As of today, the Bunyan's have been married for 62 years. When they celebrated their 60th anniversary they were interviewed my a paper. Their relationship started as friends, and pen pals. As their letters grew more intimate they fell in love on paper. It is a wonderful love story that should be the subject of a best seller.

 

 Daniel and Holly McDorman

Seeing these other couples just gives me more hope for my own marriage. We have been marred for almost seven years now. I am hoping we can someday celebrate a long and happy life together on someone's blog post about long marriages. 

Check these out:

 

Couple talk: tips for a long marriage

Top ten reasons my husband and I will last forever

Real Couple Wednesday (Kim and Montez)

 

The time has come to interview another couple for Real Couple Wednesday! Today we are learning about Kim and Montez Dones. This couple holds a special place in my hear, and I am really grateful that Kim was so open and honest about her relationship and the trials they have to go through. 

Tell me about yourself (age, martial status)

I am 30, almost 31... I have been married for a little over two years and we have been together for a total of nine years almost ten...but if u ask my husband, he says that the first two years we were together we weren't "really" together. In a sense, he's right. We met when I was in college and the first couple of years we weren't serious...I guess but I’m a woman and I count those years!!!

How did he propose?

I sent out save the dates late spring of 2008, I had chosen the date for our wedding even though he hadn’t proposed. I wasn't waiting, I took charge! I had booked the reception hall, the church, had a photographer and the cake decorator. The dresses and tuxedos were chosen. Everything was almost done! It was a little over a month after that on my 28th birthday that he proposed to me...at my job. I was anxiously waiting for the flowers to be delivered but instead he came in, dropped to one knee asked me to marry him in front of my boss who was recording the proposal! It was very sweet. A huge surprise, he did it on his own time, after I stopped nagging him about it! September 1 2008, I found out I was pregnant. The next three weeks I decided that I didn't want to be in a wedding dress 8 months pregnant...I was guessing that's how far along I would have been, so I started canceling everything...the reception hall, the church, photographer, etc. I had stopped planning the wedding, after all, I was going to have a baby and nothing in the world could have been more important to me at that time. On September 21, we had our first sonogram to find out how far along I was and when I was due. We were so happy! Shocked that we were pregnant, but we had passed that, all the emotions of having a baby ended with happiness about going to the doctor. Disappointment and tears set in when we were told that we lost the baby and surgery would be scheduled for the following Monday, it was Friday. All weekend long, I felt I had nothing, after all my happiness was taken away in a matter of seconds. Monday came and gone and soon our wounded hearts were healed and I was back thinking about the wedding.

Tell me about your wedding?

We decided that we were not starting all over with the booking and the planning so we decided that we were going to Vegas. The wedding was very short and very intimate. A few friends and family members, but it was nice.


What do you fight about the most?

My husband and I don't fight, we argue, the majority of are arguments are about his stepson. We have different views on how to raise him, how to treat him and punish him. However, now that he is 18 and leaving for college those arguments ate somewhat non-existent. Communication is our biggest issue. It's not that we don't communicate; it's that we don't fully listen to each other. We hear some things and we "assume" the rest. This causes friction between us. We both have acknowledged this and both are guilty. In trying to work on this, we will repeat what we heard the other say so we know and aren't assuming.

Do you have a lot in common?

I would say it is probably fifty fifty for things we have in common. Even though we may not have something in common, we are supportive of each other. He loves movies; he can watch them all day. I am not a huge movie person; I like a movie every now and then. But for him, I will sometimes, watch movies with him all day. I know it makes him happy that I watch movies with him. It's not always about "me" in a marriage. I compromise and he does too. He hates grocery shopping. But I love grocery shopping with him and he knows that, so he will go with me.

How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive?
Our sex life is, well, random...random is a good word. Some weeks we will have sex every day. Other weeks we will have sex maybe once. Everyone knows the lyrics to the song "life." between working, cooking, cleaning, mowing, friends, family, being tired, etc sometimes sex gets pushed to the back burner and it's the same with us. We both love sex, though his sex drive is much stronger than mine, we do have a great sex life.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?

The hardest part of our marriage is me being a stepparent. It is hard and it causes friction between us, we try not to allow it, but at times we both are stubborn in what we believe and neither one of us will back down. The easiest is living together. We are both neat freaks! I never have to tell him to make the bed, clean his bathroom, take out the trash; he just does it because he hates messes as much as I do! We don’t ever argue about our home and how it is managed...we work well as a team.

How many serious relationships were you in before?

I have been in one serious relationship before this one. Well may e two but the second one was long distance and I was more into him thane was me.

LGBT Pride Month and President Obama’s Proclamation

On May 31st, President Obama took the stand to declare that June would be known as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Pride month. He has done so for a few years now, and this was just the same. President Clinton was the first in 1999.  President Obama said in his Proclamation:

 “The story of America’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community is the story of our fathers and sons, our mothers and daughters, and our friends and neighbors who continue the task of making our country a more perfect Union. It is a story about the struggle to realize the great American promise that all people can live with dignity and fairness under the law.”

People that have not fit the ‘norm’ have been discriminated against for years.  The LGBT communities are just other members of the society that have to go through their trials and tribulations to be accepted in a nation that has already said, “All men are created equal.” I am thankful to number that the numbers are going up. According to this report, sixty-four percent of Americans believe that gay and lesbian relations between two consenting adults should be legal, and that is wonderful news.

It is time to stop the discrimination, and realize that love has no gender. It is time not to press your beliefs onto people, and let others decide what they think is right. The old Pagan saying is “In it harm none, do as thy will.” For those religious people out there that believe that this type of act is against God’s way, all I can say is the fact we are not forcing you to do something you are against. The LGBT community is just asking for acceptance, the type of acceptance we have given to many other groups before. The African American group had to fight for their right to share the same restaurants as everyone else, all because of the color of their skin. Women had to fight for the right to vote, all because of what was or was not between their legs. If these other groups have found a way out of the rumble of hatred, and discrimination then so can everyone else. You do not have to like it, but give everyone a chance to find love. This should be done with whomever they fall in love with.

I would also like to give a special shout-out to Illinois; they just recently passed a civil union law that when into effect on June 1st! This is wonderful news! One day marriage will be acceptable now matter who is in love.

Read more:

Are Gay Couples Happier then Straight Couples 

Gay Marriage and Why This Christian Supports It 

On Gay Marriage

Love and Fate: the best four letter words

Love and Fate: the best four letter words

Fate will bring you together with your true love. Perhaps this is a statement you believe in, or maybe, after years of being alone, you have given up on the idea of fate. Our previous relationships build us into the person we will be for our future spouses. This is our fate. When we are with the person we are meant to be with this is our love.

Fate and love work together to bring you to your “Big Day.” “The Big Day” is the day you say “I do” and promise to be next to someone for the rest of your life. A wedding is fate bringing you together with your love. Prior to this day, is the dating phase. Some bad relationships and heartbreak are what fate has in store for you. For some unlucky few, fate plays bad tricks and you think you have found the one true love only to find out this is not the case.

On your wedding, you believe fate has brought you together with the one you are supposed to marry. This is the ‘one’ that you spend your whole life searching for. This person becomes the one you want to wake up next to every day. The planning and excitement that surrounds these events cannot be compared to anything else. This is an event made unique by every couple.

After the wedding comes the hard part, marriage. Marriage means working things out to learn to live with each other everyday for the rest of your lives. Fate has now pulled you together and you must put up with all of the annoying habits and the unexpected turns to get their this thing you thought would be your happily ever after. No one ever told you that happily ever after would be so hard. However, with a little luck and a lot of patience, fate and love, as a couple you can make become a great love story.