Animal Lovers and Relationships

Having an animal means you already have a child. This furry friend depends on you to take care of them just as much as a child would. Although, you may be less hesitant to pull out pictures of your furry babies then your human ones, it does not make them less important. Dating a person with an animal puts a unique spin on your relationship. The classic “Must Love Dogs” symptom is not too cliché in the slightest and there are many things you need to consider before dating someone that has furry babies.

Do you like all animals?

You may prefer certain animals, but an animal lover loves their pets just as much as anyone else. Before you date someone that has pets or loves animals, ask them which kind of pet they have and make sure you can form a bond with that pet.

Can you live with the animal?

The ultimate prize for a relationship is to get married. Being married usually means sharing a house. It may be different for you between liking, loving and living with your significant other's pet.

After you have asked yourself these questions, there are other things to consider about a relationship that involves pets. Loving a pet lover can bring about unique date ideas.

Walking the dogs

Playing with the cats

Visiting animal shelters together

These are just a few ideas for dates if you are dating an animal lover. Finding a date that involves animals or pets is a great way to break the ice with someone new. This also brings up the animal issue very easily and comfortably.

The greatest fear of an animal lover falling in the love is the aspect of the other person not loving their animals. They are children, and are part of a package deal. If you find yourself falling in love with an animal lover but have the dreaded ALLERGIES there are things you can do. Do not give up on a relationship that has potential. There are medicines you can take, or have your significant other groom the pet more often. Solutions can be found.

 Read more about relationships and animals here:


Would You Give Up Your Pet for a Relationship

How to Date a Dog Lover

This week’s poll: why is the modern marriage not working

A long time ago, it was not unusual to find a couple that married young and stayed together. However, the odds of your marriage ending in a divorce are around 40%. Although this is down from the usual quoted ‘50%’, it does not mean a lot. There are many issues that married folks have to face. So why are so many marriages ending in divorce these days? This was the subject of our weekly poll this week. Why is the modern marriage failing? We got six people to cast their votes.

Cheating

60% percent of our voters believe the modern marriage is doomed to failure because of cheating. Cheating is always a major factor in choosing to stay together or not. Some women believe in giving their husband another chance even after the first affair. A woman cheating does not hit the headlines as often but that does not mean it does not happen. If you think your spouse is cheating, there may be many different reasons. Check out this article to learn more:

Cheating Spouses

Boredom

The next reason, according to the poll, is boredom. After spending years together, many couples may just get bored with each other. Maybe it has been awhile since you went out together, or since you laughed together. If this is the case, you spouse may find excitement else where, which can then lead to divorce. Boredom can really crush a relationship. Check this article out for some help:

Tips on Keeping Excitement in your relationship

Expectations too high

Often times we may think that our spouse is just not measuring up. Many women have their ‘ideal’ husband picked out long before she meets Mr. Right. If there is a good man in front of them, they may decide not to be with them because they are not exactly everything they imagined. If your expectations remain too high, you can doom relationship before it starts.  Learning to adapt these expectations are crucial. Check out this for help:

Relationship Expectations: Being Realistic About Happily Ever After

These were the results of our weekly poll. How did you vote? If your previous relationship did not work, Why?

This week’s poll: what do you fight about?

This week’s poll: what do you fight about?

During this week’s poll, I asked my readers what they fight about the most with their partners. I was surprised how much the answers varied. We got seven votes. There were two votes for money, sex, and chores. One person answered other. I can only imagine what that means, or maybe we do not want to know. I was very pleased to see that no one fought about kids.  I find that a bit unusual because I do fight with my husband about the kids. However, that is not what we fight the most.

Money

Fighting about money is very common. I know that on payday, my husband and I will get into a fight. We have very different spending habits. Even though we can agree on what is the difference between needs and wants, there is still a lot to argue about. If you find yourself fighting a lot about money, read this:

How to stop fighting about money

Sex

Sex is can be a big issue in a relationship. Whether it is too much, too little or no desire, fighting about sex can influence your relationship greatly. During and after sex your body releases feel good hormones that forces your bodies to connect and makes you feel closer. If your libidos don’t match, which can happen for various reasons, you may find you are fighting about sex often. One of the reasons you sex life could be lacking is a disease.

Fibromyalgia and Sex

Chores

Fighting about chores may be more common then everything else. I find it difficult for my husband to do chores without reminding him constantly. I think this is because he suffers from ADHD, which makes it difficult to do housework without getting distracted.  If this sounds familiar for anyone there are some tips for trying to get things done while suffering from ADD.

Tips for doing housework while suffering from ADD

What do you and your partner fight about? Maybe you can find another way to communicate.

Real Couple Wednesday (Kim and Montez)

 

The time has come to interview another couple for Real Couple Wednesday! Today we are learning about Kim and Montez Dones. This couple holds a special place in my hear, and I am really grateful that Kim was so open and honest about her relationship and the trials they have to go through. 

Tell me about yourself (age, martial status)

I am 30, almost 31... I have been married for a little over two years and we have been together for a total of nine years almost ten...but if u ask my husband, he says that the first two years we were together we weren't "really" together. In a sense, he's right. We met when I was in college and the first couple of years we weren't serious...I guess but I’m a woman and I count those years!!!

How did he propose?

I sent out save the dates late spring of 2008, I had chosen the date for our wedding even though he hadn’t proposed. I wasn't waiting, I took charge! I had booked the reception hall, the church, had a photographer and the cake decorator. The dresses and tuxedos were chosen. Everything was almost done! It was a little over a month after that on my 28th birthday that he proposed to me...at my job. I was anxiously waiting for the flowers to be delivered but instead he came in, dropped to one knee asked me to marry him in front of my boss who was recording the proposal! It was very sweet. A huge surprise, he did it on his own time, after I stopped nagging him about it! September 1 2008, I found out I was pregnant. The next three weeks I decided that I didn't want to be in a wedding dress 8 months pregnant...I was guessing that's how far along I would have been, so I started canceling everything...the reception hall, the church, photographer, etc. I had stopped planning the wedding, after all, I was going to have a baby and nothing in the world could have been more important to me at that time. On September 21, we had our first sonogram to find out how far along I was and when I was due. We were so happy! Shocked that we were pregnant, but we had passed that, all the emotions of having a baby ended with happiness about going to the doctor. Disappointment and tears set in when we were told that we lost the baby and surgery would be scheduled for the following Monday, it was Friday. All weekend long, I felt I had nothing, after all my happiness was taken away in a matter of seconds. Monday came and gone and soon our wounded hearts were healed and I was back thinking about the wedding.

Tell me about your wedding?

We decided that we were not starting all over with the booking and the planning so we decided that we were going to Vegas. The wedding was very short and very intimate. A few friends and family members, but it was nice.


What do you fight about the most?

My husband and I don't fight, we argue, the majority of are arguments are about his stepson. We have different views on how to raise him, how to treat him and punish him. However, now that he is 18 and leaving for college those arguments ate somewhat non-existent. Communication is our biggest issue. It's not that we don't communicate; it's that we don't fully listen to each other. We hear some things and we "assume" the rest. This causes friction between us. We both have acknowledged this and both are guilty. In trying to work on this, we will repeat what we heard the other say so we know and aren't assuming.

Do you have a lot in common?

I would say it is probably fifty fifty for things we have in common. Even though we may not have something in common, we are supportive of each other. He loves movies; he can watch them all day. I am not a huge movie person; I like a movie every now and then. But for him, I will sometimes, watch movies with him all day. I know it makes him happy that I watch movies with him. It's not always about "me" in a marriage. I compromise and he does too. He hates grocery shopping. But I love grocery shopping with him and he knows that, so he will go with me.

How often do you have sex? Do you have the same sex drive?
Our sex life is, well, random...random is a good word. Some weeks we will have sex every day. Other weeks we will have sex maybe once. Everyone knows the lyrics to the song "life." between working, cooking, cleaning, mowing, friends, family, being tired, etc sometimes sex gets pushed to the back burner and it's the same with us. We both love sex, though his sex drive is much stronger than mine, we do have a great sex life.

What has been the hardest part of your marriage? the easiest?

The hardest part of our marriage is me being a stepparent. It is hard and it causes friction between us, we try not to allow it, but at times we both are stubborn in what we believe and neither one of us will back down. The easiest is living together. We are both neat freaks! I never have to tell him to make the bed, clean his bathroom, take out the trash; he just does it because he hates messes as much as I do! We don’t ever argue about our home and how it is managed...we work well as a team.

How many serious relationships were you in before?

I have been in one serious relationship before this one. Well may e two but the second one was long distance and I was more into him thane was me.

Dating Myths Men Need to Get Over

Dating Myths Men Need to Get Over

Many men believe lots of myths about dating that actually keep them from getting dates. If men could get over these certain myths then they can find dates, with much surprise.

Gaming

Most men believe that if you are a gamer then you are destined to be alone. In fact, our online dater Travis was very hesitant to put on his profile that he liked to play games. For years, gamers were portrayed as lonely virgins who did nothing but stare at their XBOX or computer screens. However, the reason why this myth needs to be busted is the fact that more and more girls are getting into the gaming screen. In fact, ’hiding’ behind a fictional character on RPG (role-playing games) may give you the confidence to talk to girls. Once they get to know you, it is smooth sailing.

Females are the emotional ones

I admit I believed this one too up until recently. I actually had to ask my husband if guys got their heart’s broken like women did. I did know if guys actually put that much emotion into their relationships let women do. It seemed whenever you saw a movie, look at Facebook, or read a magazine article it was advice on how to help women get over a breakup. I have discovered that men are emotional about their feelings also. Men really need to let others know that they care. It may surprise others if you open up a bit about how much you feel. It can be very upsetting to think your man just does not care because he does not open up.

Feminism means misery

Actually, this could mean the opposite. Women that are ‘feminism’ in nature could just mean that they enjoy doing things that are not typically female. This could mean bringing your date hunting, boxing, fishing or any other activity that you may enjoy too. Just because she is for equal rights does not mean that she is going to be belittling you all of the time for what those before you have done. In fact, equal means equal. Embrace the time where women are more likely to help inside and outside the home. You may find that you are more suited for a job that is inside the home.

Check out this article:



Advantages of having a stay-at-home dad

LGBT Pride Month and President Obama’s Proclamation

On May 31st, President Obama took the stand to declare that June would be known as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Pride month. He has done so for a few years now, and this was just the same. President Clinton was the first in 1999.  President Obama said in his Proclamation:

 “The story of America’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender community is the story of our fathers and sons, our mothers and daughters, and our friends and neighbors who continue the task of making our country a more perfect Union. It is a story about the struggle to realize the great American promise that all people can live with dignity and fairness under the law.”

People that have not fit the ‘norm’ have been discriminated against for years.  The LGBT communities are just other members of the society that have to go through their trials and tribulations to be accepted in a nation that has already said, “All men are created equal.” I am thankful to number that the numbers are going up. According to this report, sixty-four percent of Americans believe that gay and lesbian relations between two consenting adults should be legal, and that is wonderful news.

It is time to stop the discrimination, and realize that love has no gender. It is time not to press your beliefs onto people, and let others decide what they think is right. The old Pagan saying is “In it harm none, do as thy will.” For those religious people out there that believe that this type of act is against God’s way, all I can say is the fact we are not forcing you to do something you are against. The LGBT community is just asking for acceptance, the type of acceptance we have given to many other groups before. The African American group had to fight for their right to share the same restaurants as everyone else, all because of the color of their skin. Women had to fight for the right to vote, all because of what was or was not between their legs. If these other groups have found a way out of the rumble of hatred, and discrimination then so can everyone else. You do not have to like it, but give everyone a chance to find love. This should be done with whomever they fall in love with.

I would also like to give a special shout-out to Illinois; they just recently passed a civil union law that when into effect on June 1st! This is wonderful news! One day marriage will be acceptable now matter who is in love.

Read more:

Are Gay Couples Happier then Straight Couples 

Gay Marriage and Why This Christian Supports It 

On Gay Marriage

Is your relationship healthy?

Is your relationship healthy?

All too often, we talk about wanting to be in a long-term-until-death-does-us-part sort of relationship. There are many people out there seeking the love of their love. However sometimes seeking the love of your life can be an emotional roller-coaster. That roller-coaster may include some very good highs, and you may think you have found the one that you were meant to be with. Is your relationship healthy?

Emotional and verbal abuse is very hard to recognize. Physical abuse leaves a physical mark but the pain is a lot more then bruises or broken bones. Physical abuse turns into emotional abuse because it is hard to believe that someone you love would hurt you so much. This leads to insecurity about yourself, and doubts that you are the person you should be.

A healthy relationship is more then the lack of abuse. It is about fostering each others' growth and wanting to be there for each other no matter what the situation. A healthy relationship does not mean you do not fight, but that the lines of communication are open everyday. In a healthy relationship, you are free to speak your opinion without feeling inferior. Healthy relationships tend to grow each and everyday. Whether you are married, in a relationship or looking for a relationship make it a healthy one.  Check out: Five Ingredients for a Healthy Relationship. What are some signs of an unhealthy relationship?

The Deal on Divorce

The Deal on Divorce

The information about divorce in America can be scary. It has often been said, “Half of all marriages in America end in divorce.” This is relatively close, but this statement does not include many factors. The age of those that get married, and the number of marriage each person is on will determine if they are more likely to get divorced.   Both men and women are more likely to get a divorce if they get married between the ages of 20-24. Percentages of divorce rates also go up with each marriage. First marriages have a divorce rate of 41%, second marriage are 60% likely to end in divorce. If an individual decides to get married again, the third marriage will end in divorce 73% of the time. Check out this page for more statistics on divorces in America: divorce rates.

In this chart, it shows that the united States are highest in divorce rates per 1,000 couples compared to seven other countries. The best country to be married in would be Italy. There divorce rate seems to be down to 0.7 out of 1,000. Why are divorces so uncommon in this country?

Check out this article to learn some steps to help save your marriage from divorce: Seven Steps that can save you marriage from Divorce.  

Online Dating: does it really work

Online Dating: does it really work

We have all seen the commercials of ‘real’ couples that are matched up on the online dating sites such as eharmony. com or match.com. However, if you ever had the time to read the fine print at the bottom of your screen, it says ‘results not typical.’ So, what are the typical results? Well, I thought I would find out. My brother-in-law recently has had his heart broken and has decided to give the life of online dating a try once again. He has been trying this scene on and off for about four years with no real results. His chosen method is plentyoffish.com. Because of lack of finances, or the lack of faith, he is not subscribing to an upgraded profile. However, to give him some help, I did some research.

I found this article about Online Dating Tips for Men. I then helped him write his profile out, and then help him respond to a few girls he was attracted to. His name is Travis and he is 22. Although he is young, he is very eager to find a lasting relationship. He sees my marriage every day and thinks of it only as a reminder that he is alone. His is heart is still repairing itself from a hard breakup, but he wants to move on. Travis has agreed to allow us to follow his journey on the online dating scene to see if it works. Read here for more updates. Has anybody else found success with online dating?
 

Love and Fate: the best four letter words

Love and Fate: the best four letter words

Fate will bring you together with your true love. Perhaps this is a statement you believe in, or maybe, after years of being alone, you have given up on the idea of fate. Our previous relationships build us into the person we will be for our future spouses. This is our fate. When we are with the person we are meant to be with this is our love.

Fate and love work together to bring you to your “Big Day.” “The Big Day” is the day you say “I do” and promise to be next to someone for the rest of your life. A wedding is fate bringing you together with your love. Prior to this day, is the dating phase. Some bad relationships and heartbreak are what fate has in store for you. For some unlucky few, fate plays bad tricks and you think you have found the one true love only to find out this is not the case.

On your wedding, you believe fate has brought you together with the one you are supposed to marry. This is the ‘one’ that you spend your whole life searching for. This person becomes the one you want to wake up next to every day. The planning and excitement that surrounds these events cannot be compared to anything else. This is an event made unique by every couple.

After the wedding comes the hard part, marriage. Marriage means working things out to learn to live with each other everyday for the rest of your lives. Fate has now pulled you together and you must put up with all of the annoying habits and the unexpected turns to get their this thing you thought would be your happily ever after. No one ever told you that happily ever after would be so hard. However, with a little luck and a lot of patience, fate and love, as a couple you can make become a great love story.